ANCIENT ASTRONAUT THEORY: ALIEN INVESTIGATOR #1

Morten St. George announces his retirement as ancient astronaut investigator

Decides to retire in light of the universal collapse of his ancient astronaut theory

Morten St. George, who has dedicated some thirty years in pursuit of an alleged ancient astronaut that appeared in the Andes mountains of South America around the year A.D. 600, has decided to call a halt to his ancient astronaut investigations. Over the years, he has promoted his ancient astronaut theory through his book, Incantation of the Law Against Inept Critics, through many widely-circulated articles on the theme, through press releases, and through the creation of three websites covering all aspects of his theory.

The response of the world's academic and scientific communities is now in, and their verdict on his ancient astronaut theory is far from favorable:

1) Archaeologists and anthropologists are maintaining that the Tiwanaku (Tiahuanaco) drawings claimed by St. George as depicting a helmeted ancient astronaut, are in fact nothing more than depictions of the local witch doctor wearing a ceremonial mask. Hence, there never was an ancient astronaut in Tiwanaku.

2) Archaeologists and historians are rejecting outright St. George's arguments that the mysterious Nazca Lines of Peru were built by the Tiwanaku empire and not by the people of Nazca, for reason that the Tiwanaku empire, at the point of its greatest expansion, never even came close to Nazca.

3) There has been no comment to date about the reproduction of images on the Andean Sun Disk or about St. George's claim that the original disk was an alien artifact left behind by the ancient astronaut of Tiwanaku. Evidently, the matter was not considered worthy of comment. Likewise, scientists have refrained from commenting on parallel universe and time travel theories that St. George derived from the Sun Disk images.

4) Judaic scholars have taken a negative view on St. George's assertion that the Tiwanaku alien created the mystical branch of Judaism (known as the Kabbalah) by authoring two books and delivering them to Talmudic scholars in Babylonia. These two books, according to St. George, were the mystic classic Sefer Yetzirah and a book of prophecies, known as the Revelations of Elijah, some of which were eventually translated and published inside a book attributed to Nostradamus.

5) Judaic scholars have also taken a negative view on St. George's contention that Nostradamus had strong ties to the Kabbalah and that some of the famous prophecies were known in the mystic circles of Provence during medieval times. * Nostradamus, it is noted, was a devout Catholic, and his writings reflect no special knowledge of Judaism. There has been no comment to date on St. George's claim that Isaac Luria, founder of the modern Kabbalah, traveled to Provence to study the Kabbalah under Nostradamus.

6) Scholars and historians have rejected St. George's analysis and systematic dating of alleged alien prophecies inside Nostradamus' book and continue to hold the skeptical view that the famous prophecies are sheer quackery, with the few apparent successes being nothing more than lucky guesses. And St. George's analysis raising the possibility of two terror attacks on the city of London around June 2 and July 2, 2012, was recently heralded as marking the high point in Nostradamus quackery.

7) St. George's discovery that Nostradamus did not write the quatrains that surround the alien's prophecies (that these were written some twenty years after the death of Nostradamus by a Spanish historian and then published by Huguenots as propaganda in a religious war against the Catholics) has been solidly rejected by Nostradamus enthusiasts on the grounds that it runs contrary to the recorded history of France. **

8) Islamic scholars have concluded that St. George's assertion that the ancient astronaut of Tiwanaku created the religion of Islam by authoring the Koran (Quran) and then transmitting it to Muhammad cannot be either proved or disproved, but there is no reason to doubt that Muhammad's encounter with the archangel Gabriel was anything other than the work of Allah.

So there you have it: a resounding defeat on all fronts. “Naturally, I'm disappointed,” exclaims Morten St. George. “A lot of time and effort went into developing that ancient astronaut theory. Most damaging of all was the witch doctor conclusion. I was counting on those Tiahuanaco drawings to make some progress. But I have to accept to verdict of the world's scholars and scientists. Time to pack it in.”

When asked if he would now be abandoning his ancient astronaut websites, St. George responded: “Maybe not yet. I got an exciting new idea from article directories that had moved some of my Tiwanaku alien articles from the Archaeology category where I posted them into the Entertainment category. I'm going to try to channel these websites into entertainment sites for the intellectual elite.”

"It is true that I have retired as ancient astronaut investigator, but mainly because I have taken these investigations as far as I can and not because of global opposition to my ancient astronaut theory. I have known for a long time that it is not possible to convince people that there was an ancient astronaut, irrespective of how strong the arguments might be. Humans rejoice in the belief that they are the only intelligent species in the universe and they do not want to hear anything to the contrary. So I am quite happy to have retired. I was really worried that my ancient astronaut theory might upset the euphoria of the world's population."

--Morten St. George

"I sometimes feel cursed being forced to live on a planet packed full of idiots. People are so stupid that they think the sky god of Tiahuanaco was a witch doctor. Witch doctors typically live in the jungle where one can find an abundance of elements to use in medicinal cures. There is no jungle in Tiahuanaco. There isn't even a single tree."

--Morten St. George

* Morten St. George’s theory about a strong connection between the Nostradamus prophecies and the medieval Kabbalah does not require alien contact by SETI astronomers to be proven correct. See his article Variantes kabbalistiques des éditions de Paris and his footnotes to the Voies de la sagesse for overwhelming evidence on this matter.

** Morten St. George’s theory that Nostradamus did not write Les Prophéties de M. Michel Nostradamus is another area that does not require SETI efforts to be proven correct. In his article Nostradamus et les guerres de Religion, St. George identifies the real author of the famous prophecies in a convincing way.

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